doodles and scribbles
Monday, February 12, 2007
dreamingLately, I've been dreaming weird stuff...
- That is snowing here in the Philippines while in the US, its raining. And after the snow, it began to rain and it melted some of the snow. But it snowed again. During the that "winter", there are lots of summer flowers blooming... weird huh? But I fell in love with place because it is a cottage or house that's on top of the mountain, you can see the view but at the same time, when you go outside, there's a running stream beside it. (Another weird stuff)
- That we have a fairy land in our backyard ang good fairies are dwelling in it. The place is like a mountain background With a sort of brick bridge in front of it. The Mountain is full of snow while the brick bridge, it's like summer with sun rays illuminating that place and things are flying... small fairies like tinkerbell... It has a shield in which it prevents the falling snow to pass through that beick bridge...It's very weird. But I liked the concept.
I dunno whether to be fascinated by these dreams, having a peculiar sceneries and concepts. I dunno if I would fear it because some of my dreams since I was a senior are coming into reality... That this would happen... And that person is blah blah blah... Maybe it's just coincidence? Maybe not... There are clues when put together, makes sense after the dream already happen... Creepy or Awesome? I dunno...
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
someday - ninaSomeday, you'll gonna realize
One day, you'll see this through my eyes
But then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I can't
I know you don't really see my worth
You think you're the last guy on earth
Well, I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long, won't take long
[chorus]
'Cause someday, someone's gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day, I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday / Someday, I know someone's gonna be there
But now, I know you can tell
I'm down and I'm not doin' well
But one day, these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry sweet goodbye
[repeat chorus 2x]
Ahh yeah yeah
Sunday, February 04, 2007
>nakaka-asarBakit ganon?
Kanina lang may mga thoughts ako sa utak ko na magandang isulat... So i tried going here para mai-publish... Pero ngayon, wala na akong maisulat... Nakaka-asar. Nasa height pa naman ako ng pag-eemote kanina e...
Ito ay dahil sa isang pesteng memory card na ayaw mabuksan kanina na nabuksan ko na nagyon...
kainis no? dahil lang doon, bigla nang naglaho ung mga naiisip ko...
Saturday, February 03, 2007
>contrary, contradictoryHave you ever experience contradiction between the heart and the mind?
Yung tipong your mind says this but your hearts feels the opposite?
Most of the time, its difficult to be in that situation.
Like now, I thought...
Matutuwa ba ako or malulungkot sa mga nagyayari sa mga tao sa paligid ko... There are some people in my life who abandoned me. Yung tipong out of no where e iiwan ka na lang sa ere. NO explanations, no nothing. Maybe, they are happy doing that choice. It's their choice. They did it because its the only way. So, what they did, it left me wounded. Sa sobrang bleeding, I tend to be angry to them. Tipong kinakain na ako ng galit ko. I tend to be destructive. (Yun ang mahirap pag sobrang galit mo)
Now... what confuses me is that, when I heard that something bad happend to them, I am left in a situation in which I dunno what to feel. As in! Matutuwa ba ako o malulungkot?
Yung tipong your mind says this but your hearts feels the opposite?
Most of the time, its difficult to be in that situation.
Like now, I thought...
Matutuwa ba ako or malulungkot sa mga nagyayari sa mga tao sa paligid ko... There are some people in my life who abandoned me. Yung tipong out of no where e iiwan ka na lang sa ere. NO explanations, no nothing. Maybe, they are happy doing that choice. It's their choice. They did it because its the only way. So, what they did, it left me wounded. Sa sobrang bleeding, I tend to be angry to them. Tipong kinakain na ako ng galit ko. I tend to be destructive. (Yun ang mahirap pag sobrang galit mo)
Now... what confuses me is that, when I heard that something bad happend to them, I am left in a situation in which I dunno what to feel. As in! Matutuwa ba ako o malulungkot?
A part of me says that I should be happy, at least nakarma na sila for what they've did to me... Serves them right... They've been wounded so we are even... Things like that...
A part of me says that I should be sad because they almost lost everything... That it this should've happend to them... not to this extent... Nakakalungot lang na pwede naman hindi ganun katindi ang balik pero ayun ang nagyari.
Other things that confuses me is that whether I should forgive them or not. To forgive or not to forgive? That is the question. I know that if God has the capacity to forgive, why can't I? I am still a human, and I have the capacity to forgive, I still have the goodness of a human being no. I can still feel sympathy. (Matakot kayo kung wala na!) Sometimes, people misinterpreted me as the opposite because of my strong personality pero naman, I am sensitive naman kahit papano... Therefore, I am prone to what ever pain inflicted on me... Kaya there is a part of me who doesn't want to forgive because of the pains that I felt. Hindi bale kung once lang e... pero ang daming na nila akong ginanito that there's a point in which I feel apathetic na.
This is what's difficult. Being caught in that situation
Another situation that I hate is that when I am missing those people who once become a part of my life, siyempre, before they abandoned me. Nanghihinayang of the friendship that what lost, there are thoughts na: Ano na kayang ginawa na nila ngayon? Masaya ba naman sila etc. but there's another that says, wag mo na silang isipin, they're not thinking what your're thinking. They abandoned you remember? Lam mo yung type na bitter ka sobra at ayan nanaman, anger builds up at nagiging destructive nanaman ako.
Sigh... life is complicated...
Mas mabuti pa ang bata simple lang ang buhay...
